Near to tears and on bended knee
praying to God how can this be?
Wondering what to say and how to pray
knowing that my words are hurtful you say.
Sick and tired of the pain I feel
while looking to God saying is this for real?
Looking ahead what the future might hold
and realizing that I have little influence on how it unfolds.
A mothers heart never rests
it just wants to believe that God knows best!!!!!
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
Everyday Life
I often find myself daydreaming about life.
It isn't that I am not busy or pre-occupied with other things to do,
but rather I just enjoy the magical get away.
Most of the time I find myself in the warmth of the sun
as it radiates my inner being, finding the peaceful place that only I can get to.
The place where my soul finds refuge, encouragement, rest and refreshment.
My mind can wonder about the future with inspiration and find motivation for the present.
Finding peace within myself is a chore some days, however, through prayer and the uplifting from those who love and care; I can keep my daydreams part of my everyday life.
It isn't that I am not busy or pre-occupied with other things to do,
but rather I just enjoy the magical get away.
Most of the time I find myself in the warmth of the sun
as it radiates my inner being, finding the peaceful place that only I can get to.
The place where my soul finds refuge, encouragement, rest and refreshment.
My mind can wonder about the future with inspiration and find motivation for the present.
Finding peace within myself is a chore some days, however, through prayer and the uplifting from those who love and care; I can keep my daydreams part of my everyday life.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Steelers Game
The day was beautiful with visions of preparation for the big game.
Watching with much anticipation as I approached the game field.
Saddened as I looked at the players seeing the one that was lame.
Wishing and hoping that healing had come.
When the players ran on the field to play I was amazed.
There was booing for the opponent and cheering for the home team.
It was like the fans were crazed.
Why do they have to behave like this?
As I sit on the sidelines with a towel in my hand.
I feel a dissapointment to all those fans.
Watching with much anticipation as I approached the game field.
Saddened as I looked at the players seeing the one that was lame.
Wishing and hoping that healing had come.
When the players ran on the field to play I was amazed.
There was booing for the opponent and cheering for the home team.
It was like the fans were crazed.
Why do they have to behave like this?
As I sit on the sidelines with a towel in my hand.
I feel a dissapointment to all those fans.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
The rooms of my heart
My heart has many rooms; I am a mom.
Many may think that as a mom you don't have feelings but I do! My rooms are full and at times run over with emotions good, bad or indifferent.
There is that bright yellow room full of sunshine and flowers that blooms all year long.
The green room is full of growth, some beautiful trees reaching to the sky and some dainty little saplings.
Blue is the room that is filled with anguish and despair. watching closely as the ruins close in; when you listen closely you can hear the pain and see the hurt.
The red room has a whirlwind of anger with words to match.
I try to focus on the rooms that give me peace but realize that the rooms that hurt and cause me to be angry take over at times.
Many may think that as a mom you don't have feelings but I do! My rooms are full and at times run over with emotions good, bad or indifferent.
There is that bright yellow room full of sunshine and flowers that blooms all year long.
The green room is full of growth, some beautiful trees reaching to the sky and some dainty little saplings.
Blue is the room that is filled with anguish and despair. watching closely as the ruins close in; when you listen closely you can hear the pain and see the hurt.
The red room has a whirlwind of anger with words to match.
I try to focus on the rooms that give me peace but realize that the rooms that hurt and cause me to be angry take over at times.
I can try as I might to keep the house of my heart nice and neat; keeping the doors locked to the intruders. They always seem to find that window of opportunity to sneak pass my guard and so the story goes.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Counting Blessings
Recently I have been thinking a lot about the blessings in life;
this week in particular has found me reflecting even more.
There was a terrible tragic accident in the town that I work leaving
two families mourning for their children that had drown in the river.
They are not alone in the mourning process as this has effected me greatly.
My heart grieves with the families; trying to make sense out of this only creates more
questions and anger.
I will pray for these families for strength and peace that only comes from God healing hand.
For myself I will try to focus on my blessings in life.
I love that old time hymn that says "count your blessings name them one by one; count your blessings see what God has done".
My blessings are great and sometimes I need to remind myself of them!
So for today I am counting my blessings.
this week in particular has found me reflecting even more.
There was a terrible tragic accident in the town that I work leaving
two families mourning for their children that had drown in the river.
They are not alone in the mourning process as this has effected me greatly.
My heart grieves with the families; trying to make sense out of this only creates more
questions and anger.
I will pray for these families for strength and peace that only comes from God healing hand.
For myself I will try to focus on my blessings in life.
I love that old time hymn that says "count your blessings name them one by one; count your blessings see what God has done".
My blessings are great and sometimes I need to remind myself of them!
So for today I am counting my blessings.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Purpose in life for some is clear and single-minded—those who feel they must paint, or play music, or teach, or diagnose disease, for example. For others, purpose in life goes through several changes throughout the years—Mother Teresa, for example, felt her purpose was to be a sister in a Loreto convent teaching children of wealthy parents, until she discovered another purpose years later—to serve the “poorest of the poor.” Our purpose is always something that makes more of us. It increases our capacity for bringing goodness, for deepening our love and compassion, for filling empty pockets in our soul. Let these questions help you explore what is waiting to “make more of you.”
What have I been doing when my soul felt full? My most fulfilling times in my life have been when I was not focusing on my needs but the needs of those I am surrounded by; my spirits are lifted as I help others. One of those times that come to mind so clearly was the mission trip that I took to Guatemala with a church group. I always watched the videos and listened intensly as the mission groups retold their stories with much enthusiasim and tears about the trip. From the moment that I got off the plane I realized that my life would be changed forever. Gratitude for all that God has given me and the tugging at my heart as to what I would leave behind. More so, now; my soul feels full just loving and being loved by my family. I enjoy every moment that I get to spend with my grandchildren and with my children, they are the light of my life and I recieve many blessings from them. There are some empty pockets in my soul but I am choosing to focus on the positive parts of my life and God to do the rest.
If there were only three things I could do in my life, what would they be?
1.Love the Lord God with all my heart. He is my salvation and breathes life into me when I am not strong enough to take care of me.
2. Love my children, grandchildren, and parents. providing them with the needs I can provide and prayers for them daily for their lives and their salvation.
3. Help others..
What would leave me empty if I could not do it? Loving my family, my friends and others. Helping all that I can with what they need showing them through love that someone cares. Most likey, if could not help others along their journey I would be lost.
How have others affirmed my reason for being on this earth?
I see it in their eyes and their laughter and sometimes in their tears. A while back I was questioning if I should be working in the job I have. I spoke to the Pastor and he said that he felt that I was being used by God, but still I was tired and weary. I continued to pray and ask for God's guidence, I also pleaded with God to affirm me so that I was sure I was doing what he wanted of me. THe very next day a women that I had counseled about a year before showed up where I work and asked if I had a few minutes. I had her come in and these are the words she spoke to me. "I just felt a leading from God to stop by and just affirm the work you are doing." WOW thats all that went through my mind for months after. God heard my prayers and answered with the same words that I requested to hear! What a wonderful God I serve! I am affirmed in many ways by words from those I have helped and by the words that have been offered on my behalf.
If I were to die tomorrow, what legacy would I want my life to leave behind?
I would love for others to say Patti loved God and that she was a good mother, grandmother and friend. That when she saw a need she tried to help and did it with an open heart never expecting anything in return. I want to live my life this way, I know I fail but I really want to live my life with others in the forfront.
In the silence of my soul, what do I believe God has prepared me to do on this earth?
Hopefully, to be a blessing to others.
What have I been doing when my soul felt full? My most fulfilling times in my life have been when I was not focusing on my needs but the needs of those I am surrounded by; my spirits are lifted as I help others. One of those times that come to mind so clearly was the mission trip that I took to Guatemala with a church group. I always watched the videos and listened intensly as the mission groups retold their stories with much enthusiasim and tears about the trip. From the moment that I got off the plane I realized that my life would be changed forever. Gratitude for all that God has given me and the tugging at my heart as to what I would leave behind. More so, now; my soul feels full just loving and being loved by my family. I enjoy every moment that I get to spend with my grandchildren and with my children, they are the light of my life and I recieve many blessings from them. There are some empty pockets in my soul but I am choosing to focus on the positive parts of my life and God to do the rest.
If there were only three things I could do in my life, what would they be?
1.Love the Lord God with all my heart. He is my salvation and breathes life into me when I am not strong enough to take care of me.
2. Love my children, grandchildren, and parents. providing them with the needs I can provide and prayers for them daily for their lives and their salvation.
3. Help others..
What would leave me empty if I could not do it? Loving my family, my friends and others. Helping all that I can with what they need showing them through love that someone cares. Most likey, if could not help others along their journey I would be lost.
How have others affirmed my reason for being on this earth?
I see it in their eyes and their laughter and sometimes in their tears. A while back I was questioning if I should be working in the job I have. I spoke to the Pastor and he said that he felt that I was being used by God, but still I was tired and weary. I continued to pray and ask for God's guidence, I also pleaded with God to affirm me so that I was sure I was doing what he wanted of me. THe very next day a women that I had counseled about a year before showed up where I work and asked if I had a few minutes. I had her come in and these are the words she spoke to me. "I just felt a leading from God to stop by and just affirm the work you are doing." WOW thats all that went through my mind for months after. God heard my prayers and answered with the same words that I requested to hear! What a wonderful God I serve! I am affirmed in many ways by words from those I have helped and by the words that have been offered on my behalf.
If I were to die tomorrow, what legacy would I want my life to leave behind?
I would love for others to say Patti loved God and that she was a good mother, grandmother and friend. That when she saw a need she tried to help and did it with an open heart never expecting anything in return. I want to live my life this way, I know I fail but I really want to live my life with others in the forfront.
In the silence of my soul, what do I believe God has prepared me to do on this earth?
Hopefully, to be a blessing to others.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Placing Your Trust
I always try to trust what others tell me, at times this has come to bite me in the back. I give the benefit of the doubt and make excuses for others because I want to believe that they will do what they say or follow through with there promises. How many times do I have to this happen; well at least once or twice a day. You would think that I would learn right?
When you tell someone something and follow through it builds trust and makes them believe in your word; when you don't it makes one feel used, disappointed and confused.
I am sorry for the times that I may have failed to follow through and ask for forgiveness for my shortcomings.
As for those that have unknowingly disappointed me or lied to me; I forgive you, but please think about what you have said or not done so you don't do it again. For those of you that purposely lied to me and failed to follow through shame on You!!!! Can you really live with yourselves knowing what you are doing to others? I will forgive but not Forget!!!
TRUST QUOTES:
~ It takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it. ~ Anonymous
~ The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it's the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him with his friend. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
~ The glue that holds all relationships together - including the relationship between; the leader and the led is trust, and trust is based on integrity. ~ Brian Tracey
~ Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do. ~Benjamin Spock
When you tell someone something and follow through it builds trust and makes them believe in your word; when you don't it makes one feel used, disappointed and confused.
I am sorry for the times that I may have failed to follow through and ask for forgiveness for my shortcomings.
As for those that have unknowingly disappointed me or lied to me; I forgive you, but please think about what you have said or not done so you don't do it again. For those of you that purposely lied to me and failed to follow through shame on You!!!! Can you really live with yourselves knowing what you are doing to others? I will forgive but not Forget!!!
TRUST QUOTES:
~ It takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it. ~ Anonymous
~ The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it's the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him with his friend. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
~ The glue that holds all relationships together - including the relationship between; the leader and the led is trust, and trust is based on integrity. ~ Brian Tracey
~ Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do. ~Benjamin Spock
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